And on she goes.
My little angel turned seven today. It simply takes my breath away to know that her days of being a little girl are really behind her. I know, I know, I know. She’s still little, but the days of needing me for everything are a thing of the past.
If I was a better writer I’d probably know how to share that I’m excited to celebrate this sweet lady while simultaneously grieving the overpowering passage of time–it just keeps happening, the earth keeps orbiting around the sun… again, and again, and now my baby is seven and I can’t get those days back. Those days when they were young were hard for me. I really struggled with being tired all the time, with being needed constantly, and with the endless amount of stuff that needed to be done. All of it was so darn hard. Every day was hard. But now, now that the days are a little easier I just long to go back and find the moments of joy and to try and be more present, try to be more joyful, try to not live for nap time or bedtime or even work time.
I remember being in those days and hearing other parents tell me that they love every minute of parenting young children, and I just would simply not believe them. How can you enjoy wiping projectile poop off the wall? How can you enjoy crying babies? And yet, now those days are gone forever and I just long for a little bit of them while also feeling relieved that we’re past that phase.
All of this is to say that today I’m both happy and sad. My daughter is going to knock the socks off of this world someday soon. She is one amazing little lady: thoughtful, wise, passionate, and full of life. She loves to sing, to dance, to care for her many babies, and to do just about everything. She’s stubborn, opinionated, and demanding–all characteristics that both drive me crazy and make me proud at the same time because they are the characteristics that will help her thrive professionally.
Early this morning I went for a walk in the woods. When surrounded by trees and alone I felt comforted. I cried a little and then felt better. I wondered what would have happened if I had done the 365 Every Day Outside Challenge when they were little. I was outside a lot, but was it enough? It wasn’t every day that’s for sure. Was that part of why I was so overwhelmed, because I was disconnected from the natural world? I will never know for sure–but maybe some overwhelmed mom is reading this and finds some comfort in it, maybe she’ll realize that she is like me and needs to get outside often…
Tonight we celebrate this lovely human being. I couldn’t be more proud to be her mother and our days together just keep getting better and better.